A prized possession encased in glass
admire from afar, do not touch
the pain will subside, the feeling will pass
to him it doesn't mean very much
Your chest is heavy with guilt
Exhausted from storing your thoughts away
Destroying securities you've built
Forever living in shadows of grey
Your eyes yearn to see him, to feel his soul
your lips quiver to feel his gentle kiss
your life is now spinning out of control
because you can't have something that he won't miss
Your hands tremble when you are near
Your body aches to feel his eternal bliss
You want to tell him all of your fears
but you can't have something that he won't miss
The fire in his eyes, it's not for you
The warmth in his voice, it's not for you
No matter what happens in his life
it's not for you, it's not for you
So, little girl, take another shot of whiskey tonight
you've been long forgotten, he's in his world of glass
dawn will break soon and you will see the light
the pain will subside, you'll see.. the feeling will pass
-AP
3 July 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Why do I suddenly like him??
I don't understand what is going on with my emotions. I feel like I can't tell anyone the things that are going through my head. I'm an astrologer and I've done research into my transits, progressions, everything, and it just doesn't make sense to me. It was the great philosopher Plato who said that love is a disease. I think I am beginning to heed that warning.
I'm falling for someone that I work with. Naturally, that shouldn't be unusual, and I suppose it isn't. It definitely isn't the first time I have done that before. And I can try to rationalize the reasons all day long, but that still doesn't "solve" my problem. It still doesn't make the feelings go away. After working with him for a year, I develop attraction to him overnight. Literally!
When I first met him I didn't say anything to him really. We worked together a lot and we developed a friendship. We went out to dinner and drinks a couple times. His girlfriend and I even have went out together on other occasions. I thought she had terrible taste in men because he is pretty much everything opposite that I like in a man. Regardless, we are friends, and that makes it good to not have attraction feelings for someone you work with but can still talk to as a friend. *sighs* Until now.
I don't know what to do. My feelings for him have completely crossed the line, and it was totally unintentional. He has a girlfriend and I don't want to get in between that. I have a track record for wanting to be with attached men, but I've learned from that and I never put myself in those situations anymore. I'm so angry at myself for having these feelings for him because I don't want to. I know I deserve to be with someone some day where I can find mutual love, compassion and understanding for each other, but I don't want to feel that way for him. He's my friend, and he has a girlfriend. And we work together.. I wish I knew how this manifested, maybe I could find a way to undo it. Maybe it's a phase, maybe he or I will do something to alter these feelings and I can go about my life normally again.
I feel even more confined about this because I can't talk to anyone. Everyone that I know is affiliated with work somehow, my best friend is in love with me and I feel like that would be a bad idea. That, itself is a whole other situation to deal with. I guess I could tell my sister, but she is young and although I know she'll understand, I don't think her or anyone else for that matter could help me. Maybe it would feel good to tell someone to get some feedback. It's just so hard to keep these feelings and thoughts to myself. I feel like I can't say anything at all and that very thought seems to be gnawing at my spirit.
Maybe it will go away, and with it I'll be able to sleep better. He wants me to come out tomorrow night with his girlfriend and him for drinks. I don't want to ditch out on celebrating something that is going on in her life because of my feelings, but I feel like if I stay away from him it will help me separate my feelings from him.
My feelings are so out of whack right now. How am I going to work through this??
-AP
I'm falling for someone that I work with. Naturally, that shouldn't be unusual, and I suppose it isn't. It definitely isn't the first time I have done that before. And I can try to rationalize the reasons all day long, but that still doesn't "solve" my problem. It still doesn't make the feelings go away. After working with him for a year, I develop attraction to him overnight. Literally!
When I first met him I didn't say anything to him really. We worked together a lot and we developed a friendship. We went out to dinner and drinks a couple times. His girlfriend and I even have went out together on other occasions. I thought she had terrible taste in men because he is pretty much everything opposite that I like in a man. Regardless, we are friends, and that makes it good to not have attraction feelings for someone you work with but can still talk to as a friend. *sighs* Until now.
I don't know what to do. My feelings for him have completely crossed the line, and it was totally unintentional. He has a girlfriend and I don't want to get in between that. I have a track record for wanting to be with attached men, but I've learned from that and I never put myself in those situations anymore. I'm so angry at myself for having these feelings for him because I don't want to. I know I deserve to be with someone some day where I can find mutual love, compassion and understanding for each other, but I don't want to feel that way for him. He's my friend, and he has a girlfriend. And we work together.. I wish I knew how this manifested, maybe I could find a way to undo it. Maybe it's a phase, maybe he or I will do something to alter these feelings and I can go about my life normally again.
I feel even more confined about this because I can't talk to anyone. Everyone that I know is affiliated with work somehow, my best friend is in love with me and I feel like that would be a bad idea. That, itself is a whole other situation to deal with. I guess I could tell my sister, but she is young and although I know she'll understand, I don't think her or anyone else for that matter could help me. Maybe it would feel good to tell someone to get some feedback. It's just so hard to keep these feelings and thoughts to myself. I feel like I can't say anything at all and that very thought seems to be gnawing at my spirit.
Maybe it will go away, and with it I'll be able to sleep better. He wants me to come out tomorrow night with his girlfriend and him for drinks. I don't want to ditch out on celebrating something that is going on in her life because of my feelings, but I feel like if I stay away from him it will help me separate my feelings from him.
My feelings are so out of whack right now. How am I going to work through this??
-AP
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